Friday, March 19, 2010

It's ok because we were young and in love and we survived Iraq so why couldn't we have beat these odds.

I have so much to do, so much
to feel and say and think, so
much to accomplish to be
so able to hold my head up that I
cry because I know you won't be there and that I
have failed in a way because we have
so much.

So much of this I can say I
don't think so much of this is
my fault but every decision I make
my choice and I know so much of this
path we are on is because we both put
so many feet in front of the other and
so much.

So some days now are much too much to
be alone in and some days are much to
good to not share with you but so much
now I realize I held on to much of just
the idea of you and I and the idea of
doing everything "perfect" but, it doesn't work
like that,
so much.

no, not so much.


  1. You hit it on the head with this one, "holding on to the idea of you." It's hard to let go of those good ideas of someone you hold in your heart and mind, especially when you have shared so much pain together. Joy too I know, but it is sharing the pain together, the hard things like Iraq...and everything that came after...that is harder to let go of. I hope sometime you will be able to hold those important memories in your heart and let go of the rest.

  2. I agree, I feel exactly where you are coming from here.