I think of you
hiding under the same sky
seeking cover from mad men
hoping no one hears
your silent screams
I see my reflection
in a shard of broken glassand I remember
you've seen me broken
you saw me break
hiding under the same sky
seeking cover from mad men
hoping someone hears
my silent screams
from: Life and Death in Translation
I'm looking for feedback on this piece: Impressions, thoughts, questions? This piece is still a work-in-progress and your comments may help me find a title and finalize the piece. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great poem Iris. What is Life and Death in Translation? I like the simplicity of it. I like the fact that you are talking about someone else, then simply yourself but you don't see that coming. maybe the title can be something related to the sky and screams. those words stick out and you know i love alliteration. i like it short. but it also leaves me wanting more. thats good. maybe there is more for this poem, maybe it should be short... lets talk soon. let me know what you think.
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