Sunday, January 17, 2010

cold feelings in the night...

Sally Struthers... AKA names have been changed to protect the innocent... :-) We went to basic training together and for some reason hated each other... then we landed in AIT together and "fell for each other" in the friend sense of it all. I was pretty much the only one who did not judge her for cheating on her husband (she got married at 18 to a fellow soldier she rarely saw and then she herself left for basic training). First impressions, however, were still strong. She was tall, and blonde, and a bitch. She thought she was so smart, so put together, so smug... typical snotty high school girl with her perfect little life. I'd already been beat by my boyfriend, had drug and alcohol abuse problems, had dealings with gangs and other counter-cultural groups... and we were the same age -- 18. That's probably why I hated her.. because I didn't realize that everyone prety much has it as hard as they can, including she and I. That's why we became friends in AIT. I realized how awesome she was and how her struggles were killing her. She was just as stigmatized among her acquaintances as I was among mine.. possibly more.
She was from Maine. She was very confident, almost to the point of being condescending, but after we became friends, I could tell she didn't mean it. She was the first person I actually REALIZED looked up to me. I didn't know why, but I was flattered because she was THE stereotype -- preppy, popular cheerleader from wealthy family, blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect figure, perfect clothes, perfect grades. Raised Roman Catholic, to boot. The rub of it, she wasn't too sure about her faith, really. She never was certain she looked "great" (even though she did) and needed me to help her study almost every day in class. She ended up chasing after boys that even I (queen of horrible relationship decisions) knew were just flamboyant party boys who wouldn't care about her at all.
When we graduated AIT, her mom took us to the airport together. That was the last time I saw her.
I've lost track of her since, although I could probably find her on myspace or facebook. I love that girl. She showed me the other side of the tracks and helped humanize me. I have a hard time relating to people who I see as "better" than me. More popular, etc... I didn't used to think their problems mattered. Hell, everyone's problems matter. Thanks, Sally.

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